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We Have To Behave as Emissaries of Our Lord

It’s no secret that, since Obergefell, Christians who stand for the defense of marriage as God intended it have become something of pariahs on social media, and having our faces rubbed in the ruling. People have been unfriended because they defend Christian morality, accused openly of being bigots. Between the comments and the “rainbowized” pictures, it can be very difficult to avoid lashing out at the people who seem to want to throw the #lovewins and #loveislove in our faces when we know we are being misrepresented and demonized. But it is lashing out that we must not do, and—unfortunately—some Catholics have lashed out in ways which will lead those who support “same sex marriage” to view it as just that much more “proof" that we are the bigots they always thought we were.

We have to remember that it is Our Lord who commanded us:

⁴³ “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵ that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust. ⁴⁶ For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not the tax collectors do the same? ⁴⁷ And if you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that? Do not the pagans do the same?* ⁴⁸ So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect. [Matthew 5:43-48]

It doesn’t matter how badly we are treated. In our response, even if we are forced to block them because of abusive attacks, we have to show that we love those who hate us—not as an act, but in sincerity. That means we have to be civil when we debate with them, avoiding insults, sarcasm or other rudeness. Now yes, that is hard. I confess I created a few sarcastic memes that I had to sit on when I really wanted to post them. (Through the grace of God, I was given a sense that to publish them was not in keeping with Christian witness). But we have to remember that the example we provide may be the only witness they have as to how a Christian bears witness to what they believe. If it is a bad witness, we become a stumbling block that keeps others from seeing God’s call.

Now that doesn’t mean that we have to be silent and not say that homosexual acts are wrong, as those who oppose us try to argue. As Emissaries of Our Lord, we have to carry His message telling the world to live according to God’s will. Indeed, when it comes to the State legalizing “same sex marriage,” the Church has made it very clear that we cannot give our assent:

In those situations where homosexual unions have been legally recognized or have been given the legal status and rights belonging to marriage, clear and emphatic opposition is a duty. One must refrain from any kind of formal cooperation in the enactment or application of such gravely unjust laws and, as far as possible, from material cooperation on the level of their application. In this area, everyone can exercise the right to conscientious objection.

 

[#5. Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions between Homosexual Persons (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 2003).

So, we cannot recognize the diktat given to us in the Obergefell ruling as valid or cooperate—we must oppose it. But in doing so we have to be charitable. Being insulting or verbally (textually?) abusive is not the way we are to go about it. “Rainbowizing” Hitler or the Devil is not a charitable tactic for example. Regardless of whether a person is deliberately acting abusively or is unaware of how they come across, we must show the love of Christ while teaching the truth.

Should We Follow That Cause?

Introduction

The Spiritual Works of Mercy show there are many things we can do in the face of error, including instructing the ignorant and admonishing the sinners. When done fully informed of Church teaching, when done in charity and when done in submission to the teaching authority of the Church, these can be good things. But these things are not always done. Sometimes the person or group with a cause lacks the love, the understanding or the submission to the Church. When one or more of these things happen, it is a sign that the activist’s cause may be out of sync with the Church and, as a result, may actually be going against God (see Acts 5:39). Because of this, I believe there are certain things to watch for when deciding whether to take part in a specific cause—even when we may agree with the general principles it promotes.

Preliminary Note 

The word “cause” is an equivocal word, which can be used differently by different people. In one instance, it can be a general idea—for example the Church standing up for the right to life and the proper understanding of marriage. In another instance, it can be referring to a specific group—for example, there are many groups working to end abortion.

For the purpose of this article, I am writing about the second meaning of the word “cause.” That is, those specific groups who act in defense of a Church teaching.

Is there Love? Or Anger and Contempt? 

Wrongdoing can offend us, and anger against sin is not always wrong, depending on how it is directed. But the question is, does the activist show a loving concern for the person or group they are opposing? Or is the person/group seen as an enemy to be vanquished and punished while we ride on in triumph? That’s a hard thing to keep in mind. There are people who do publicly flaunt their rejection of Church teaching and try to make it sound like it is they who are the “real” Christians while those who try to be faithful are portrayed as bigots. It is easy to be angry at them. There are members of the Church who do not take as strong a stand on supporting the Church teaching as we would prefer. It is easy to be disappointed in them. 

But they are still children of God, and need our support in turning back to God. There should be concern for their souls and their being brought back to the truth, even if we need to admonish them for doing wrong. What does a cause opposing them say and do? Do they show this concern? Or do they just treat them contemptuously as people who are doomed to hell and the sooner they are out of the way, the better? If it is the latter, this is a sign that that specific cause may not be good to follow.

Do they accurately understand the Church Documents or what the Accused said/did? 

Unfortunately, some Catholics treat Church Documents in the same way as Literalists take the Bible—with the assumption that the individual doing the reading is true and any disagreement with that reading is wrong. But even a Catholic trying to be faithful to the Church can miss a nuance in the Church teaching, giving a meaning to a document never intended. Even though the Church is quite firm on what one must do in being faithful, she also has a good understanding about the knowledge and will of the sinner. For example, it is common for people to try to contrast the Church documents on the necessity of the Catholic faith with the Vatican II documents on religious freedom as if the two were opposed. They present the two as being in conflict. But when you read Blessed Pius IX and Venerable Pius XII, you see they did not accept the idea of no salvation outside the Church in a way that denied the right of non-Catholics to exist unmolested.

Likewise when reports are given concerning the words or actions of a Catholic, and these reports cause outrage, the question needs to be asked—have the words been reported accurately? Are there reasons for the action which are in keeping with authentic Church teaching? Certainly that is not possible in the case of a pro-abortion politician trying to justify the rejection of Church teaching, but we do need to ask whether the person intends to act against the Church. A lack of clarity does not mean an intent to be disloyal.

If the person in question does not intend to act against Church teaching, then a cause seeking to attack the person as disloyal is misguided and should not be supported. In addition, we need to consider the significance of the misunderstanding. In some cases, it is because the person/group behind the cause is reacting to a wrong in the Church in general and assumes from the thing said or done that the person in question is acting against the Church. In other cases it may be that the people behind a cause wrongly think that something they prefer is a part of Church teaching and are confusing a disagreement over the best way to do a thing as if it was a rejection of doctrine.

Of course, even if the person does correctly understand the person and the Church teaching, the reviling response is never justified.

Do they act in submission to the Magisterium? 

The Pope and the bishops in communion with him are the successors to the Apostles. They do have the authority to bind and loose (Matthew 16:19 and Matthew 18:18), and we can have faith that the magisterium will not be permitted to teach error when it comes to things pertaining to our salvation. Yes, a priest or even a bishop may fall into teaching error. But when it comes to assessing where authority is, it is always with the Pope when he teaches with authority. Yes, Paul rebuked Peter in Galatia over his personal failings (Galatians 2:11-14), and some saints have rebuked some Popes (St. Catherine of Sienna comes to mind here) over their personal failings. But these were personal failings, not doctrinal errors, and they never denied that authority of Peter or his successors.

When the cause stakes out the position that the magisterium itself cannot be trusted or seeks to place itself as a judge in addition to or over the magisterium, that is a cause I will not join or lend my support to.

Conclusion 

In short, a specific cause from a specific group should be avoided if it shows one or more of the following:

1. A lack of love for the person or group seen as being in need of correction, treating them as an enemy to be vanquished.
2. A lack of understanding of Church teaching, or of what the person/group actually said or did.
3. A refusal to subject itself to the living magisterium of the Church under the current Pope and the bishops in communion with him.

In such cases, this specific cause has gone astray. It is still acceptable to find a group that works to change an injustice, but not that particular group.

Approaching the Sinner: Reaching Out in Love? Or in Judgment?

I can understand the reactions of the current rebellion in the Church—I don’t condone it, but I understand it. There is a dual reaction to anything that sounds funny. There is fear that those who are dissenters against Church teaching will get their way and change the teaching of the Church. There is also anger over the apparent inactivity of those responsible for leading the Church when it comes to these dissenters. When you think of it this way, it’s easy to start thinking of the Church in terms of “good guys” and “bad guys.” This is entirely natural.

However, even though it is natural, it is not what we are called to be as members of the Catholic Church. We’re called to take part in the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-19):

¹⁸ Then Jesus approached and said to them, “All power in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit, ²⁰ teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.* And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”

God does not rejoice in the death of the sinner (See Ezekiel 18:31-32 and Ezekiel 33:11), and wants their salvation. He also sends His Church to reach them. In different ages, the Church can use different means to reach them. While individually we may have a preference for a specific method, we need to recognize that ultimately the teaching authority of the Church sets the tone, and we need to avoid undermining their work.

What we always need to keep in mind is that our task is not to take part in the condemning of sinners to damnation, but to reach out to them in love, telling them of the need for salvation, but letting them know that they are loved. At times, we need to admonish and warn the sinner. But if we don’t show our love for the sinner, instead giving them a sense of “you sinners disgust me,” then we will not be effective in our ministry.

Pope Francis gets a lot of flack here. Some Catholics accuse him of being too soft, too lenient when it comes to dealing with the sinners. But I am reminded of a similar story about another man named Francis—St. Francis de Sales. Consider this from an 1887 book on saints speaking about St. Francis de Sales and his approach as bishop of Geneva.

At times the exceeding gentleness with which he received heretics and sinners almost scandalized his friends, and one of them said to him, “Francis of Sales will go to Paradise, of course; but I am not so sure of the Bishop of Geneva: I am almost afraid his gentleness will play him a shrewd turn.” “Ah,” said the saint, “I would rather account to God for too great gentleness than for too great severity. Is not God all love? God the Father is the Father of mercy; God the Son is a Lamb; God the Holy Ghost is a Dove, that is, gentleness itself. And are you wiser than God?”

 

[From: John Gilmary Shea, Pictorial Lives of the Saints (New York; Cincinnati; Chicago: Benziger Brothers, 1887), 67–68.] 

The concern for showing love for the sinner was not an example of “modernism,” or other errors. 

Unfortunately, some people fall into the other error. They believe that if we are called to love, we cannot say that what they do is wrong. That’s never been taught by the Church at all, and those who accuse (or praise) the Pope of saying so have missed the point. Our Lord Himself has spoken about the dangers of hell and the need to repent. In Matthew 7, (the chapter where He warns about judging—so often taken out of context), He warned:

¹³ “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. ¹⁴ How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life. And those who find it are few.

and:

²¹ “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. ²² Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name? Did we not drive out demons in your name? Did we not do mighty deeds in your name?’ ²³ Then I will declare to them solemnly, ‘I never knew you.* Depart from me, you evildoers.’

But Jesus, even when warning of the reality of hell, never stopped loving the sinners. He loved the tax collector. He also loved the Pharisee.

So, this makes me think about how we are acting in the blogosphere and in the comboxes. What kind of witness are we leaving? Do we show that we love, and desire the salvation of, Obama or Pelosi? Or the person struggling with same sex attraction? Or the atheist? Or how about Fr. Hans Küng? Cardinal Kasper? Fr. Richard McBrien (who died recently) How that bishop or pastor you can’t stand? Do we pray for them? And by pray, I don’t mean “Oh Lord, please make Bishop So-and-so not be an idiot!” Do we show our love for these people in our prayers?

I don’t say this judgmentally. Lord knows I have been rude and sarcastic. I get pissed off with the Super Catholic who thinks they cannot err while the Pope can. So I certainly need to learn to practice what I am preaching here. Indeed, next week I might be back to being sarcastic and mocking of those I disagree with, and I certainly need your prayers.

I just ask that all of us who witness the Catholic faith, whether face to face, by blog, by Facebook or Twitter (or whatever else is popular out there)—let’s remember that how we act is a part of our witness as part of the Great Commission. And let’s pray for each other as well.

TFTD: Thoughts on Dealing With Obstinate Hatred Online

I think most people who try to defend the faith online in the combox or on Facebook have encountered the insulting response, the mocking response or the highly emotional response which make wild accusations and personal attacks. It’s terribly unjust, and you might be tempted to fire back, "putting the jerk in his or place." Or you might think that with just the right response, you’ll unlock the door and bring the person over to the truth. Personally I find that neither one of these actually works. The internet is filled with a wide range of people with different temperaments, education, knowledge and biases. Some of them may not be remotely interested in seeking the truth. They might be unwilling to consider anything that runs counter to what they hold. A religious or political perspective which is different might be seen as politically or ideologically motivated.

I find that many of the abusive types will not be willing to listen to what you have to say. But remember, these people are not the only people following the conversation, and whatever you consider saying should take this into account. You may not reach your foe, but you may reach others, both those responding at the time and those who discover it much later.

I find that when a person behaves in an abusive manner, there will always be some “me too” types around who click “Like” on their comments and parrot the same kind of responses. But there may be some people out there who don’t agree with them, or may be appalled by their views or their behavior. So that’s why the first thing to remember is, you don’t try to “put the jerk in his place.” You come across looking like a jerk as well, and maybe people will be less inclined to listen to your point. It’s always important to be gracious, and not come at it with a hard, “@#$% You!” attitude. If you need to respond, the reply should show patience, witnessing the love for others that Christians are supposed to have.

The second thing I have learned is that you don’t always need to respond to everything the person opposes you says. Sometimes, the best witness is to leave your gentle words as a contrast to the abusive vitriol that follows. This leaves the reader who happens by a witness to your belief that shows no hatred while your abusive opponent is shown by his or her own words to be the one who is intolerant. Just politely say that you think the conversation is no longer productive and are leaving the discussion. But the hard point is to leave the discussion and not come back for “one last response." You may be insulted. You may be accused of running away, or accused of being intolerant. Offer it up and let your quiet Christian witness speak louder than their insults.

The third thing to remember is not to let pride get in the way. No matter how much we want to defend the faith, we need to make sure that we don’t confuse that with “not wanting to look bad on the forums.” We can pray for those who attack us, and we can pray for humility:

The Litany of Humility by Cardinal Rafael Merry del Val

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

(And yes, I too need to pray this more.)

TFTD: Rash Judgment in A Rush To Judgment

²¹ “You have heard that it was said to your ancestors,ⁿ ‘You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.’* ²² *But I say to you, whoever is angry* with his brother will be liable to judgment,^o and whoever says to his brother, ‘Raqa,’ will be answerable to the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna. (Matt 5:21-22)

The article, "Cuban-Americans Denounce Pope Francis: ‘I am a Catholic Without a Pope’ | TheBlaze.com,” demonstrates a troubling attitude of some Cuban Catholics over the role the Pope played over the reopening of relations between the US and Cuba. These Catholics have had a strong hostility to the Castro regime, and some of them have been harassed or jailed by the Cuban government.

Now, the diplomatic activities of the Church do not fall under the Magisterial authority. The Pope isn’t infallible over the decision to work diplomatically for better relations, and one isn’t bound to give assent to this decision as good. Cardinal József Mindszenty indicated in his memoirs that he felt betrayed when the Vatican decided to send a replacement to Hungary instead of demanding the Communist government accept him. So there can be different views on what is best, and some people can feel hurt by these decisions.

However, even those who oppose improved relations with Cuba (and I’ll come out and say I am cautiously in favor of the Pope and Obama’s actions here), they need to do so with charity and following the teachings of the Church that do apply— like avoiding rash judgment. When terms like “naïveté,” “the Church is contaminated,” and “I am Catholic without the Pope,” these are warning signs that people are letting their ideology get ahead of their Christian obligation.

See, the Christian obligations to love our neighbor, love our enemies, etc. still exist in these cases. So is recognizing the possibility that the Pope was not naive or bullied or motivated by liberal ideals. He could have an idea about the opening of relations with Cuba as being the best way to improve conditions in Cuba and open the way to freedom. He could be right. He could be wrong. But he’s not doing evil in his actions, and it strikes me as unjust to accuse him of bad will.

More Thoughts on Catholics on the Internet

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More Thoughts on Catholics on the Internet

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TFTD: On Rash Judgment and Divisions That Harm the Church

A friend brought to my attention an internet war between Catholics on the subject on where the line must be drawn between keeping hidden a truth which would be harmful to somebody if ever found out and outright lying.  Now I don't intend this article to take sides in this argument.  Rather, I write this to point out a fundamental lack of charity which is going on.

What saddens me about this debate is that it is not an issue of faithful Catholics versus "Cafeteria Catholics."  This is a debate between two groups of faithful Catholics who are losing sight of the actual intent of any discussion – to find the truth.  Instead, we see Catholics from both groups dogmatizing a certain interpretation and condemning the other as heretical.

The problem is, neither view is condemned by the Church (so long as the view does not say lying is morally acceptable when used to avoid evil or do good) and neither is mandated by the Church.  This isn't like the issue of abortion where the Church points out that the unborn child is a person from the moment of conception.  On that issue, there is a solid line in which no faithful Catholic can cross over without falling into error.  Instead, we have a range of understandings as to to what extent one can conceal the truth from one who would do evil with that knowledge.

Because of this, I write to ask people to remember the either-or fallacy.

The main point to consider is this (also called the fallacy of black or white thinking).  It takes an issue and divides it into two camps… one presented favorably and one unfavorably.  It argues "If you don't support [A] it means you must support [B]."  The problem is, if there is a position [C] out there, then the argument that an opponent must favor some evil if he does not accept your position is dishonest and lacks the charity which all Christians are called to.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (#2477-2478) reminds us:

2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury.²⁷⁸ He becomes guilty:

- of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;

- of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another's faults and failings to persons who did not know them;²⁷⁹

- of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.

2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor's thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another's statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.²⁸⁰

This means before one more Catholic blogger accuses another faithful Catholic of being heretical because he disagrees with said blogger, the question to be asked is: Does Church teaching contradict my opponent's position or does it allow different degrees on how the teaching is to be understood?

Again, this isn't an either-or issue like abortion.  Because the Church teaches that the unborn child is a person, no Catholic can take a stand which supports abortion (killing an unborn person).  This line is clear.

But other debates among the faithful of the Church are debates over whether situation [X] is on the right side of the line or not.  How does a Dutch citizen respond when Nazis show up at his door carrying submachine guns and asking "Where are the Jews?"  How does the undercover cop respond when a felon asks point blank, "are you a cop?"

These are not easy questions to answer.  Christians are forbidden to lie, we know.  An ancient Christian would be doing wrong if he replied "No" to the Roman soldiers asking the question "Are you a Christian?"  But what happens when someone demands to know something they have no right to know?  This is where the dispute exists.

This blog war is filled with rash judgment – many people are willing to assume bad will on the part of the other side.  But assuming bad will without evidence is the rash judgment which the Church condemns.

Both sides in a dispute where people disagree on how Church teaching is to be carried out need to look with charity towards their opponent and with a critical eye to their own position.  Respect and obey the Mother Church, but ask yourself if the position you hold is the Church position or whether it is the personal interpretation of what the Church teaches.

This is not to say that we should "give in to the other side" (that's the either-or fallacy again).  But when both sides in a dispute have a love for the Church, then the debate must be loving and charitable – where the goal is for everyone to reach a better understanding of the Church teaching and not to "defeat your opponent."

TFTD: On Rash Judgment and Divisions That Harm the Church

A friend brought to my attention an internet war between Catholics on the subject on where the line must be drawn between keeping hidden a truth which would be harmful to somebody if ever found out and outright lying.  Now I don't intend this article to take sides in this argument.  Rather, I write this to point out a fundamental lack of charity which is going on.

What saddens me about this debate is that it is not an issue of faithful Catholics versus "Cafeteria Catholics."  This is a debate between two groups of faithful Catholics who are losing sight of the actual intent of any discussion – to find the truth.  Instead, we see Catholics from both groups dogmatizing a certain interpretation and condemning the other as heretical.

The problem is, neither view is condemned by the Church (so long as the view does not say lying is morally acceptable when used to avoid evil or do good) and neither is mandated by the Church.  This isn't like the issue of abortion where the Church points out that the unborn child is a person from the moment of conception.  On that issue, there is a solid line in which no faithful Catholic can cross over without falling into error.  Instead, we have a range of understandings as to to what extent one can conceal the truth from one who would do evil with that knowledge.

Because of this, I write to ask people to remember the either-or fallacy.

The main point to consider is this (also called the fallacy of black or white thinking).  It takes an issue and divides it into two camps… one presented favorably and one unfavorably.  It argues "If you don't support [A] it means you must support [B]."  The problem is, if there is a position [C] out there, then the argument that an opponent must favor some evil if he does not accept your position is dishonest and lacks the charity which all Christians are called to.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (#2477-2478) reminds us:

2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury.²⁷⁸ He becomes guilty:

- of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;

- of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another's faults and failings to persons who did not know them;²⁷⁹

- of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.

2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor's thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another's statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.²⁸⁰

This means before one more Catholic blogger accuses another faithful Catholic of being heretical because he disagrees with said blogger, the question to be asked is: Does Church teaching contradict my opponent's position or does it allow different degrees on how the teaching is to be understood?

Again, this isn't an either-or issue like abortion.  Because the Church teaches that the unborn child is a person, no Catholic can take a stand which supports abortion (killing an unborn person).  This line is clear.

But other debates among the faithful of the Church are debates over whether situation [X] is on the right side of the line or not.  How does a Dutch citizen respond when Nazis show up at his door carrying submachine guns and asking "Where are the Jews?"  How does the undercover cop respond when a felon asks point blank, "are you a cop?"

These are not easy questions to answer.  Christians are forbidden to lie, we know.  An ancient Christian would be doing wrong if he replied "No" to the Roman soldiers asking the question "Are you a Christian?"  But what happens when someone demands to know something they have no right to know?  This is where the dispute exists.

This blog war is filled with rash judgment – many people are willing to assume bad will on the part of the other side.  But assuming bad will without evidence is the rash judgment which the Church condemns.

Both sides in a dispute where people disagree on how Church teaching is to be carried out need to look with charity towards their opponent and with a critical eye to their own position.  Respect and obey the Mother Church, but ask yourself if the position you hold is the Church position or whether it is the personal interpretation of what the Church teaches.

This is not to say that we should "give in to the other side" (that's the either-or fallacy again).  But when both sides in a dispute have a love for the Church, then the debate must be loving and charitable – where the goal is for everyone to reach a better understanding of the Church teaching and not to "defeat your opponent."